Cave Callahan
Cave Callahan * Name: 'Michael "Cave" Sean Patrick Callahan *'Position: 'Head of Lucky Clover Promotions. Capo of the Callahan Family of the Minneapolis Combination . *'Metatype: 'Troll (''Homo sapiens ingentis) *'DOB: '''7/1/2041, St Paul , MN. 'of UCAS District Court of Minneapolis, 0900 hours, 12 August 2071 Hey I remember this, good times, good times. -CaveMan BAILIFF: All rise. The UCAS District Court of Minnesota, brought to you by FizzyGulp, the Gulp that Refreshes, is now in session, the Honorable Judge Marianne Hanfield presiding. (All Stand) BAILIFF: Please be Seated. JUDGE HANFIELD: Clerk, announce the docket. CLERK: Your honor, today’s case is the People of Minneapolis versus Michael Callahan on the charges of Racketeering, dealing in prohibited software and copyright violation. JUDGE: Will the defendant and the counsel for the defense step forward? (Callahan and Isidore Blumenfeld lead counsel for the defense, step forward) CLERK: Will the defendant state his full name for the record? CALLAHAN: What? You don’t remember me from last time? Hey, yeronner, you know me. BLUMENFELD: (whisper) Micky! JUDGE: Yes, I do, Mister Callahan. And I might as well tell you that we’ll not be having any of the antics you displayed last time you were in my court. You’re on thin ice, mister, and you’re this close to starting this trial in contempt of court. Keep that in mind. CALLAHAN: (sighing) Yes, yeronner. Whatever. CLERK: Will the defendant state his full name for the court. CALLAHAN: Michael Sean Patrick Callahan, as it please the court. JUDGE: It doesn’t particularly. Do you understand the charges laid against you, Mister Callahan? CALLAHAN: Better than you do, yeronner. JUDGE: Watch yourself, Mister Callahan, this is your last warning. But I’ll take that as a yes. And how do you plead to these charges? CALLAHAN: Me? Well generally I plead se… BLUMENFELD: We plead Not Guilty on all charges, Your Honor. JUDGE: Thank you, Mister Blumenfeld. Clerk, record the plea. CLERK: So noted, your Honor. BAILIFF: The Defendent may be seated. JUDGE: I call the Prosecutor forward. (Assistant District Attorney for Hennepin County James H. Trepanier, steps forward) JUDGE: Mister Trepanier, is the prosecution prepared? TREPANIER: Yes, your honor. JUDGE: Then, without any delay, let’s get this started. Prosecution, you may begin your opening statement whenever you’re ready. TREPANIER: Thank you, your honor. (Trepanier addresses himself to the Jury) TREPANIER: Ladies and gentleman of the jury, first off, I would like to applaud you. Because you, and you alone, are the true line of defense for our community. You are all that stands between our communities, our way of life and the chaos and predators that threaten it. Without you nothing that the police or security officers or even the prosecutors office can do matters. You, the People, the peers of the jury are the final nail in the coffin of those who would bring harm to our communities and our homes. And today, today you stand on the edge of one of your greatest victories and all you have to do is take it! Because today, you are presented with the opportunity to remove one of the greatest threats to society living in the Twin Cities today from its streets, a true menace. A monster, if I may use the word… BLUMENFELD: Objection! JUDGE: Sustained. Watch the racial language, Counselor. TREPANIER: If I might explain, your Honor, members of the Jury, I was not making a racial epithet as regards Mister Callahan’s metatype. No enlightened member of our society, I would hope, still believes a man is a monster just because he has claws and horns. A man is a monster, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, not because of what is outside, but because of what is beneath that. By his actions might we know a man, and anyone who’s seen the news in the last year knows this man’s actions. The prosecution intends to prove that this man, Micky “Cave” Callahan, is not the simple theatrical agent he would claim, but is, instead, head of the notorious Callahan Family, an enforcer for organized crime and head of one the largest ‘Better-Than-Life’ rings in the western UCAS. This man has ended lives and ruined many more, the source of a vice that only the twenty-first century could produce, so insidious that it could be, and often is, mistaken for a learning sim, a ploy that gets it into the hands of our children. All so this monster, yes, I say Monster! So this monster can earn a few more dollars and fund the continuance of this cycle of pain. This is the opportunity you have before you today, to wipe this contagion in metahuman form from our streets and make the Twin Cities the better place to live that we all know it could be. And rest assured, the prosecution team, this prosecution team behind me, will do everything we can to give you the tools to give an honest and forthright assessment of this man’s full guilt in this and much, much more. Thank you. Blumenfeld later got a mistrial declared on the grounds of racial bias on the part of ADA Trepanier. Subsequent attempts to re-try Callahan were hampered by a failure to locate key pieces of evidence that formed the basis of the prosecutions case. Mister Callahan remains a free citizen with no adult convictions to this day. Hey, Izzy, you ever get on with that Judge? I think she was into you, bro… -CaveMan You’re killing me, Cave, killing me… -NoComment Return to: Callahans Category:Troll Category:People Category:Underworld Category:MSPlex